Goodbye, My Hopeless Dream
by RosesandThorns666
Summary: With him it's always the same, and quite frankly she's tired of him leaving her behind. One-shot, but could develop into a longer story. Crowley/OC. Please R&R!


**Summary: **With him it's always the same, and quite frankly she's tired of him leaving her behind. One-shot, but could develop into a longer story. Crowley/OC. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. Also, I don't own the lyrics used in this fic. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **Okay, so I totally cried like a baby writing this one. It's so sad, but if you really are desperate for a happy ending and you'd like more chapters, then please don't be afraid to let me know.

Hope you enjoy!

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><p><strong>Goodbye, My Hopeless Dream<strong>

_"Well, I never want to see you unhappy,  
>I thought you'd want the same for me...<br>Goodbye, my almost lover,  
>Goodbye, my hopeless dream,<br>I'm trying not to think about you,  
>Can't you just let me be?<br>So long, my luckless romance,  
>My back is turned on you,<br>Should've known you'd bring me heartache,  
>Almost lovers always do..." <em>

Andrea Swan lays in her motel room, her eyes trained on the ceiling as she listens to her iPod. The sad songs bring tears to her eyes as she thinks of her lover. She thinks of his sparkling eyes, his trademark smirk, his deep voice. She thinks of how gentle he is with her, and how when he's with her his behaviour is so different, how it goes against his nature. Demons aren't supposed to be so gentle with anybody, yet he is always with her.

She's a princess to him...when they're together. But otherwise she doesn't matter and she's pretty sick of worrying for him when he can't be bothered with her. The thought of her love for him being one-sided just breaks her heart and she fears that her worries are truth. She fears he doesn't love her the way she loves him and she fears that her time with him is drawing to an end.

Andrea knows that she can't take his leaving anymore. He vanishes for several days, sometimes over two weeks at a time, then he picks her up and they go somewhere else. She doesn't hear from him until he comes back and she worries herself sick. She cries herself to sleep, she barely eats and all she does is worry for his safety, but he never seems to worry about how she's been while he's been away. Every demon in Hell and on earth is looking for him, but they haven't found out about her yet.

With a sigh, she wipes her tears away, sitting up and turning her iPod off, placing it on her dock to charge while she goes to take a shower. As she stands under the spray, she runs her fingers through her long blonde curls, her sapphire blue eyes closing as she rubs shampoo into her hair, massaging her scalp with her dainty fingers. Her lightly tanned body is soaked slowly in hot water, Andrea taking the time to gently wash her skin with her favourite coconut shower gel, her beautifully shaped body relaxing with the lathering of the gel against her flesh.

Looking in the mirror, she examines her scars that she's managed to collect over the years right from being a small child. She wishes that he's here, holding her in his strong arms and whispering those beautiful words of affection that he always does when they're together. If there's one thing about him, he's a damn good listener. He comforts her no matter what she worries about or gets upset about.

She climbs out of the shower, wrapping herself in a towel before heading into the other room and blow-drying her hair. She heads to get some nightwear, going back into the bathroom to moisturise her body and get into her pyjamas, wandering into the main room and dropping her towel as a familiar figure stands before her, a soft smile on his face as he looks at her.

"Hello, darling."

Andrea smiles, picking up the towel and edging towards him, wrapping her arms around him and breathing him in, holding onto him as he winds his arms around her in return. His lips meet her full ones, and she melts into him as she always has done. From their first kiss seven years before she just melted whenever he's around her.

"God, it's good to see you." She tells him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He replies, "Managed to point Sam and Dean Winchester in the right direction. Those two are such idiots."

"Whiskey?" She asks, earning a nod from him.

"Just what I need." He tells her, moving behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing her temple and rubbing her stomach gently which always melts her.

"Bed?" He asks, Andrea biting her lip before putting on her best smile to hide her pain, taking his hand and breaking away from him to lead him to the bed, but not before he takes a drink of his whiskey.

"I've missed you, Crowley." She whispers, watching as a smile crosses his lips.

"I've missed you too, Andie." He tells her, kissing her lips gently which she returns and deepens, giggling as she hears the glass being placed on the table before his arms are winding around her and lifting her off the floor.

She feels him lay her on the bed, opening her eyes to meet his as they start to remove their clothes. This is one of her favourite parts of being with him. Whenever they've been apart, they'll spend their nights together intimately, Andrea fearing going to sleep because she could wake up and he won't be there with her. She hates it when she wakes up alone. She never knows when she's going to wake up alone, but she tries to brace herself for it, and when he's gone, there's no explanation, no phone call, no message, nothing. If she's honest, she can't take it anymore.

They share loving, deep kisses as they run their hands over each other. There's barely any talking as they romance each other, Andrea feeling her heart aching at the knowledge that this may be her last night with him for while, despite him only just getting back from being elsewhere. She can't understand what she's truly feeling, and things get even more confusing when begins to kiss his way down her bare body, that beautifully shaped brand that binds them together which rests on her hip beginning to tingle, especially when he presses his lips to it. She leans into the contact and moans loudly, breathing heavily as unexpected pleasure shoots through her body, causing her to arch slightly. He runs his tongue over the brand, feeling her fingers in his hair as she lets out a softer sound.

"Crowley..." She breathes, "M'gonna come soon...you're cheating."

"I'm a demon." He tells her, "It's what we do, sweetheart."

She giggles and closes her eyes, turning her head away as tears threaten to fill her beautiful eyes. She turns to face him again to hide her upset as he moves upward to kiss her lips, deciding to pay attention to her gorgeous chest. Her soft skin just beckons to be touched and she quivers with anticipation which just sends his head spinning. Her legs rest against his sides as he caresses her chest, shoulders and neck gently with his lips, his fingers linked with hers before he breaks away and settles between her legs. He sighs as she sits up and pays attention to his neck and jaw before reaching for the bedside table. Her favourite motto has always been _'Better safe than sorry' _and since she's leaving him she doesn't want to have to leave with his baby inside her.

She feels guilty for not telling him but she can't bring herself to. She can't face him when she leaves. She just has to go at the first opportunity and not look back. If she looks back, she'll never be free of her worry and stress. Leaving seems to be her only option. She'll leave him a note to explain what had happened, why she'd left and also to tell him that he can't follow her. She's already written that letter and it's safe in her bag out of the way.

He doesn't seem to notice that she's almost in tears and he slides inside her body slowly, settling above her before he leans down and presses a deep and loving kiss to her lips, taking her hand and pushing into the mattress as he starts to move, Andrea joining him. They move slowly, Crowley's arms keeping her safe in his embrace as they kiss gently, looking at one another as though nothing else on the earth matters. But this war matters more to Crowley.

The death of Lucifer matters more to Crowley than Andrea, and boy, does Andrea know it. She doesn't think that Crowley himself realises this, but she knows it's true. She can feel the horrible truth buzzing around them like a poisonous insect. Of course he cares more about Lucifer's death. If Lucifer wins, Crowley's life will end quicker than you can say _Jack Flash_, but then if Crowley dies, there'll be no point to Andrea's existence. She feels that if she lets him go now, and if she cuts that brand, she'll be free and that she won't hurt so much if anything happens to him. For a start, she won't know.

She feels him bury his face in her neck and they continue to move, Andrea willing herself not to cry because if she does he'll find out and he'll do whatever he can to make her stay. She doesn't want to stay and take this anymore. She wants to leave and live her own life without having to think of him, without worries about him haunting her mind all the time. She wants rid of the pain and the sleepless nights, she wants to be able to live freely without being afraid and alone as she was without him. His arms hold her tighter and she cries out as they both climax, the two of them riding through their high whilst sharing loving kisses and caresses. They open their eyes and kiss again, breaking away to just look at each other.

"Love you, Andie." He whispers, kissing her lovingly, Andie still worrying that perhaps he isn't being truthful.

"Love you too." She tells him, kissing him again before he rolls away from her, the two turning out their lights before curling up close.

They would talk about what he'd done during his time away if he'd just let her in. He tends not to talk about it with her, which also adds to her worries. They settle for Andrea to sleep, the young woman not able to stop a couple of tears falling as she turns onto her side at the fear that he won't be there in the morning. If he isn't, then that's when she'll leave.

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><p>Sure enough, Andrea awakens to find Crowley gone. She takes out the letter from her bag and packs everything else up. She grabs her flip-knife, lightly cutting through that brand on her hip and bandaging it up, leaving the letter with her money for the room on the table and walking out of the door. She wonders if this really is a good idea, and she decides to be selfish for once herself and she walks away, the gentle sounds of <em>Almost Lover <em>by A Fine Frenzy playing softly in her ears as she begins her journey to a new place, wincing with every step she takes through the pain in her hip while tears of her leaving roll down her face.

About three hours later, Crowley returns to the room with a bunch of roses in his hand, finding it odd that for one thing, Andrea isn't here and neither are her things. He spots the letter on the table and opens it, reading the message inside and feeling something inside him die at the words.

"_You know how much I love you, Crowley, but I can't stand the worry and the pain I feel when you're gone. I can't stand the fact that you have to be on the run all the time, and that we can't ever settle together without fear of getting hurt. I can't bear going to sleep because I know that when I wake up, you might not be there. I'm sorry, and I know I promised to stand by you until the end, but I don't think I can take this anymore. So I've left. I've gone now, and please don't try to find me. I've cut the brand on my hip so you can't track me, and if I see you I know I'll be dragged back into this again. Just remember that I always loved you, that I still love you and that I'll never forget you. This is my goodbye, Crowley. _

_I love you." _

The demon sat at the table with tears in his eyes, and the air seems to have left the room. He feels like he can't breathe, that someone's choking the life out of him and he realises there and then that he's crying. He realises that his worst fear has just come true.

He's lost his Andrea.

_"Goodbye, my almost lover,  
>Goodbye, my hopeless dream,<br>I'm trying not to think about you,  
>Can't you just let me be?<br>So long, my luckless romance,  
>My back is turned on you,<br>Should've known you'd bring me heartache,  
>Almost lovers always do..."<em>

-The End-

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><p><strong>Awwww! *Sniffles* <strong>

**Hope you enjoyed! I am willing to write more if you would like more for this story.  
><strong>

**Thanks for reading! **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
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